For over 25 years, voice over artist (WARNING: the following site has loud audio) Ed Green has delighted us with his soothing baritone, and I’ve just heard all I can take. As much as those big white letters on the hill spell out Hollywood, so does Ed Green’s voice. Whether he’s announcing the Summer arrival of aliens hell-bent on destroying Earth or a troubled family’s Christmas-time hatchet burial, Green’s voice is ubiquitous among movie trailers. And he’s not just Hollywood’s mouthpiece: Corporate America has paid him to do over 25,000 commercials for every product and service imaginable. That’s why he must be stopped. Ed, Hollywood isn’t about “one man…” or “in a world…” or “now more than ever…” or any of that. It’s about embracing the diversity of our dreams and sharing our voices. There IS NO single voice of Hollywood, Ed!!!!! Please. Stop. Now.

I do give him props for poking fun at himself in the trailer for Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedian, though.