The (Near) Future of Film Part Deux

Films I forgot to mention last time:

In Van Helsing Hugh Jackman will take on the Wolf Man, Frankenstein’s Monster and Dracula as the titular vampire hunter. The role was played by Anthony Hopkins in 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

I haven’t seen Tears of the Sun yet, but while watching Training Day it became apparent that Antoine Fuqua is fulfilling his destiny as a skilled director. The trailer for his King Arthur is impressive, but claims to take a more historical look at how the legendary First Brit came to power — sans the hocus pocus. I’m not quite willing to take history lessons from Jerry Bruckheimer yet, so I’ll leave Arthur’s historical veracity up to the profs. The movie stars Clive Owen as Arthur and Keira Knightley as Guinevere, with Stellan Skarsgaard, and Ray Winstone.

Tom Hanks will star in the Coen Brothers’ remake of The Ladykillers, assuming the role of the professor which Sir Alec Guinness filled in 1955.

Happy Birthday Harry

Harry Shearer turns 60 today. He provides numerous voices for The Simpsons and hosts the funniest show on the radio, Le Show. Harry shares the joy with Estella Warren (25), Corey Haim (32), Eddie Vedder (39), and Susan Lucci (54).

The (Near) Future of Film

Now that we’re done with two of the three most hyped trilogies of the new millenium, and the market for comic book films has been exhausted (save Spider-Man and X-men sequels), it’s time to think about what Hollywood will come up with to top The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars. They’ll have plenty of Philip K. Dick stories left to fuck up (so his heirs can cash in) after Paycheck bombs, but the most recent batch of trailers on Apple.com promises a new crop of sci-fi blockbusters that actually look pretty good.

Hellboy stars Ron Perlman as genius comic book artist Mike Mignola’s sarcastic do-gooder demon. Hellboy leads a team of supernatural government agents on missions that more often than not involve thwarting occult-obsessed Nazis trying to raise a world-threatening evil.

Rumors of a sequel to the Vin Diesel vehicle Pitch Black are no longer hearsay with the release of a trailer for The Chronicles of Riddick. Diesel will again star as escaped convict Riddick, this time finding himself in the middle of an intergallactic war. The villains resemble medieval knights, possibly making a comment on modern Christian Imperialism…?

Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie battle giant robots and flying chrome drones in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I for one am a little tired of warp-speed spaceships, evil androids, and mind-erasing machines, and this revisitation of early 20th Century sci-fi will provide stark contrast to Star Trek and the like. It appears to be an homage to Hugo Gernsback and the 1939 World Fair, Hollywood having picked up on the underground success of The Iron Giant and its aesthetic. From the trailer, though, Sky Captain appears to do a lot of winking at the audience that could just make it annoying to watch.

Notable non-sci-fi movies coming out soon are Mel Gibson’s contoversial biblical epic The Passion of the Christ (which must be pronounced with a thick accent to be understood), a story of life under the Taliban called Osama (ever notice how one guy can ruin a perfectly nice name?), and possibly Bernardo Bertolucci’s The Dreamers.

On the other hand, movies that look far, far worse than Booty Call are: Garfield (sorry Bill Murray!), The Punisher, and Never Die Alone (when is DMX going to learn?).

Chicago Reader Comics Issue

Congratulations to Onsmith for his contribution to the Chicago Reader’s current Comics Issue.

He said what!?

I just heard NBC news report that a positive sign for the success of re-Iraqi-fication is that attacks against Americans have dropped below 20 per day…

Merry X-mas America!

With Ol’ Gramps Hussein in the bag has the Prez assured his re-election?

U.S. ends Muslim registry

The Chicago Tribune is happily able to follow up their “Tossed Out of America” report with news that John Ashcroft’s modernized version of racial internment has been abolished. Since June 2002 “men from predominantly Muslim nations” were ordered “to come in for questioning, fingerprinting and photographing.” Over 83,000 of those who complied were labeled “‘high national security concerns’” and at least 14,000 were deported, ripping families apart and destroying immigrants’ hope of a new life in America. Zero charges of terrorism had been made against the registrants.