The Guardian Unlimited reported that a division of DARPA working under John Poindexter asked for $3 million next year to maintain their Futures Markets Applied to Predictions (FutureMAP). FutureMAP’s website, Policy Analysis Market, is “an Internet futures trading market on events in the Middle East.” DARPA said it hoped to suss out actual intelligence from the market activity, but the site has been disabled.

“It is brilliantly imaginative in places where we want them to be imaginative,” said Paul Wolfowitz (nevermind that HSX and fuckedcompany have been around for years). Tom Daschle and other Democrats were less amused, seizing this opportunity to parade how duly diligent they are being with our money.

Tom, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine sifting through chatter all day to protect your ideological opposites’ butts from disgruntled Saudis Muslim fundamentalist lunatics! It must be mind numbing!! I don’t want numb minds tracking Al Qaeda, I want sharp ones that know when to “short” an assassination attempt on Yasser Arafat..or would that be a “put” option?

Together we can save FutureMAP. If every American sends a penny to DARPA the $5 bill burning a hole in my pocket that says Israel will be an irradiated hole in the ground by 2007 will finally have a home!